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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>是粤语，然后我大喊调下音道，音道错了，顿时哑口无言，我脸一虹一紫～～差点晕</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>了过去～～</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>29</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、偶高中，放学和偶</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>一起回家，校门口看到一卖烧烤的，</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>说要吃牛杂，因为烤</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>架前人比较多，偶怕老板听不见，于是偶大声喊道：“老板，</span><span
lang=EN-US>5</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>串牛鞭”然后一片寂</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>静，三秒钟后所有人一起暴笑。偶巨尴尬。。。最尴尬的是</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>接着问偶“牛鞭是什</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>么”偶只好非常非常小声地回答</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>：“牛鞭就是牛尾巴啊”。。</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>30</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、我和我的</span><span
lang=EN-US>mm</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>电话吵架，她把电视音量开得很大，我心里烦，就大声说：“把电话</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>给我关掉！”现在想起来，那个寒啊！</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>31</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、早上和同学去吃早餐</span>
<span style='font-family:宋体'>其中一个只吃包子馅，另外一个只吃皮。我们正在说他们</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>两个浪费的时候吃馅的同学来了一句“行了</span> <span
style='font-family:宋体'>以后你吃我的包皮好了”在场的所有喝</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>粥</span> <span
style='font-family:宋体'>的全部喷出来了。</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>32</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、说个真事，上班的厂车上，</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>问我：我的电脑不行了，老是死。我说：那你回去</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>查查病毒看，记得要升级杀毒软件。</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>：哦。第二天一大早，车上又见</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>，偶随口问</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>了句：查过了没？怎样？然后。。。。。。。。。</span><span
lang=EN-US>MM</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>大声的说了句：气死我了，查了</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>半天，说是没（梅）毒。你说怎么办好啊？？？当时那个寒啊。。。。现在还记忆尤</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>新</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>33</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、我宿舍一个同学的高中同学打电话来，他说找谁，我说不在，接着说了谢谢</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>34</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、以前别人来我阿姨家作客，刚进门的。刚好我阿姨要去上厕所。她连忙招呼客人</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>说：“你们坐哈坐哈，我去厕所给你们倒点茶喝！”</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>35</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、以前我们有个政治经济学老师，特别喜欢侃！有次谈到美圆强势。他这么</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>说，“你们知道为什么只有美圆才被叫做‘美金’，却从来没有听说过有叫‘英</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>金’、‘法金’？”</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>36</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、大学军训时</span><span
lang=EN-US>,</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>教官大吼一声说</span><span lang=EN-US>:</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>用你们的旁光（余光）对齐</span><span lang=EN-US>~~~~</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>偶们想笑又不敢</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>笑</span><span lang=EN-US>,</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>那个难过呀</span><span lang=EN-US>.... </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>37</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、女同学和她的表妹请我吃饭，席间让我多吃点，我不知道怎么会犯如下的错</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>误：“谢谢，最近没性欲，你们多吃点吧！”当时大家都喷饭了。。</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>38</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、我们单位早上上班有车子接送的，因为车子不大，有一次，一</span><span
lang=EN-US>mm</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>上车后没座</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>位，坐我旁边的一男同事忙站起来，热情的和她打招呼说到：“某某，你坐我屁股上</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>吧！” 我当时一直狂笑到下车</span><span
lang=EN-US>~</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>！</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>39</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、以前痴迷网络游戏，经常在网吧杀的混天暗地的，学期结束后，和一帮哥们回</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>家，火车就快要开了，我们却还没找到站台，一时语急说道：“</span><span
lang=EN-US>MD</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>，这里怎么连个坐</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>标（其实要找指示牌）也没有啊！</span><span
lang=EN-US>~</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>”哥们听后爆笑</span><span lang=EN-US>~~
</span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>40</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、以前住校的时候，上下铺。一次</span><span
lang=EN-US>A</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>手机要充电。可是一个床铺就一个插座，插了</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>台灯看书就不能充电了，于是乎，</span><span
lang=EN-US>A</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>把充电器插在</span><span lang=EN-US>B</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>上面。</span><span lang=EN-US>B</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>晚上要听音乐，看见</span><span lang=EN-US>A</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>的充</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>电器大吼：“哎，我说你怎么老插我上面吖？你怎么不插你下面？”完后一阵骚动，</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>汗</span><span lang=EN-US>~~ </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>41</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、大学时候，一同学和我争论问题，一时处于下风，情急中一拍桌子起身大叫：你</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>胡说，我又不是不傻！</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>42</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、我一哥们去相亲，回来大家问他怎么样，哥们讲：这个女孩真糙。中午到了饭</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>点，</span><span lang=EN-US>2</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>个人进了一家牛肉拉面馆，女孩对师傅大声说道：嘿，给拉</span><span lang=EN-US>2</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>碗</span><span lang=EN-US>~~~</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>拉面的师傅</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>说：你吃吗？吃我就拉。</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>43</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、小时候冰棍雪糕的一般都是推着自行车叫卖，有一次，在屋子里听一阿姨喊：新</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>来的雪糕，热乎的。（估计阿姨以前是卖油饼油条的）</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>44</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、室友用热得快烧水，水开后那厮却悠哉游哉地看书不动弹，实在看不下去了于是</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>开口说：“该拔了吧？叫得好大声。。”没反应。十五秒后补充：“那里很热哎，就</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>这么一直插着很容易插坏的啊。。”没动静。过半分钟水彻底沸腾，哗啦啦地溅了</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>来。“那什么，射出来了。喷出好多东西叫声也越来越大再插着恐怕会弄坏人家</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>哎。。你确定不拔？”。。。一本厚厚的书朝偶的头飞过来</span><span
lang=EN-US>!!!~ </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US>45</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>、高</span><span
lang=EN-US>3</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>时我们班主任是教数学的</span><span
lang=EN-US>...</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>他给我们复习时</span><span
lang=EN-US>~</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>每到画图时</span><span lang=EN-US>,</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>画射线时</span><span lang=EN-US>~~</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>就大声</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:宋体'>说</span><span lang=EN-US>~~`</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>同学们看好了啊</span><span lang=EN-US>~~</span><span
style='font-family:宋体'>我射了啊</span><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> 1.</span><span style='font-family:
宋体'>上大学的时候去衡山玩</span><span lang=EN-US>,</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>当时爬山爬了一半</span><span
lang=EN-US>,</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>累的正想歇会的时候看到路边有个买纪念</span><span
lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span lang=EN-US> </span><span style='font-family:宋体'>品的欧巴桑</span><span
lang=EN-US>,</span><span style='font-family:宋体'>上去开口就问</span><span lang=EN-US>:"</span><span
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