tags.txt

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We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing. 
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
RAM = Rarely Adequate Memory 
I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up! 
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
Don't hit me, Mr. Moderator... I'll go back on topic... I swear!
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send me $10.
Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
MONEY TALKS ... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
(dirty look) Im sorry, Im not allowed to argue any more
BLOW YOUR MIND - smoke gunpowder.
Do I BELIEVE in the Bible?! HELL man, I've SEEN one!!!
Do not disturb -- I'm disturbed enough already.
Don't just DO something,STAND THERE!
Don't steal - the Government doesn't want competition.
Don't you dare touch that 'ignore' button!!
Dreadful. Truly dreadful. But you love it, don't you?
Error loading GOD.SYS (A)bort or (U)nzip BIGBANG.ZIP.
Fer sell cheep: Micrasuft Spel chekker. Wurks grate.
File Not Found. Backup Not Found. Sure you don't want a drink?
File not found "LIFE.DRV", life halted.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Go ahead, steal my ideas...everyone else does...
Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't all be wrong.
Go where no man has gone b4! The ladies Bathroom!
Halleluja! Put your HANDS on the MODEM!
Hard DISK? Gee lady, I misunderstood you.
Hello dad...I'm in jail and I LIKE IT here!
Hello good evening and welcome, to BLACKMAIL!
Help you out? Certainly. Which way did you come in?
I can't decide between EDLIN and WordPerfect Six......
I just took an IQ test. The results were negative.
I know and I know you know I know.
I know my mind. And it's around here someplace.
It said, "Insert Disk #3", but only 2 would fit
Join Taglines Anonymous. We can help.
Logic: 1+1= 11, 2+2= 22, 3+3=6
Modem Police...we clocked you at over 1600 cps.
My Turbo Light is on, but nobody is home.
NEW! Tagline-Lite! Only 1/3rd Less Serious...
NO PROGRAM is idiot proof, idiots are ingenious!
Phoneco.sys corrupted - recommend competitive market
Real_men_don't_need_spacebars.
The Russian Express Card Moto: Don't Leave Home!
This is my tag,there're many like it,this one is mine.
Umm...your ZIP is open...
What, us .BATs? V^^^\_o^o_/^^^V
Why is "ABBREVIATION" such a long word?
You lost WHAT source code?
Bumper Sticker it said 'TO ALL VIRGIN'S THANKS FOR NOTHING'.
HEY LOOK, Ifixxedthat spacebarproblem. ohdarn.
HEY! The taglines are down here!
I AM IN TOTAL CONTROL,but don't tell the wife.
In your config.sys; you must specify BUGS=OFF.
I never knew lasers could be printed.
With schizofrenia you're never alone!
Often, people put taglines down here. WHY?
Have you hugged your modem today?
<* KA-BLAMM! *> Intel Outside.
Hex Dump: Place for witches to get rid of used curses.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students.
I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS
I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
This [send money] is a [send money] subliminal [send money] tagline!
JUST ANOTHER INMATE IN THIS ASYLUM!
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Lead me not into temptation; I'll find my own way.
Mad at your neighbor? Buy his kid a drum!
I'm from the government. I'm here to help you.
Behind every great man is his BUTT.
A job is nice, but it interferes with my life.
If I learn by mistakes, I'm getting a FABULOUS education.
Life's not passing me by, it's running me over!
Wrong! 30 minutes of begging is NOT considered foreplay.
How did I get so round from eating square meals?!?
Make something foolproof, and they just come up with a better fool.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
How many babies can a motherboard have?
A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this!
If I was human I would..Wait a minute! I AM Human
I can't be overdrawn! I still have checks left!
It's been Monday aaaaaaaaallllllll week!
In the fight between you and the world, bet on the world - F. Zappa
Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
I'm Having A Ball Doing Nothing At All.
For once I'm at a loss for words. Mark down the date!
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here.
If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.
Bad FAT? My hard disk has high cholesterol?
No honey, it's only a computer, PLEASE put down the gun..
I'm trying to find myself. Anyone seen me lately?
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
Give peace a aah-argh! 
The economy is the secret police of our desires. 
Keep Poland green - have sex with a frog. 
This tagline is also available on casette and video. 
Nothing succeeds like a parrot. 
Violez votre Alma Mater. 
If God exists that's his problem. 
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. 
Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf. 
AVE MARIA - don't mind if I do. 
Don't complain about the beer. You'll be old and weak yourself one day.
[****] Beer kicks the parts other beers don't reach. 
BLACK POWER - is it cheaper than gas? 
Jesus jogs. 
Persuasion rules OK - just this once! 
If you don't vote for me, I'll hold my breath. 
YOU CAN TELL A POLISH WORKMAN BY HIS HANDS - they're always in his pockets.
Do not bend, fold, staple or mutilate in any way this tagline. 
Cambridge, give me back my mind. 
EARN CASH IN YOUR SPARE TIME - blackmail your friends. 
ROCK AGAINST RACISM - Nihilists against everything. 
Kilroy was here. 
BRING YOUR CHILDREN TO WARSAW - and leave the little buggers there. 
Last tagline for 30 messages. 
Cisterns of the world unite - you have nothing to lose but your chains. 
DISARM TODAY - dat arm tomorrow. 
Light up an Embasy - join the S.A.S. 
How will I know if I'm enlightened? 
Eskimos are God's frozen people. 
YES! Everything was so different before it all changed. 
FAITH CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS - she's a big girl. 
Old plumbers never die, they just go down the drain. 
God give me patience - but hurry please!
Fireraisers of the world ignite!
It is forbidden to forbid. 
Stamp out vandalism or I'll break your windows. 
If the French won't buy our lamb we won't use their letters. 
Anywhere, providing it be forward. 
City planners do it with their eyes shut. 
There's mo future in being gay. 
Old golfers never die, they just lose their balls. 
[******] reaches the parts other beers don't bother with. 
Hang the extremists. 
I LOVE MARGARET HOLMES - Good Lord, Watson, so do I! 
INCEST - a game the whole family can play. 
No alcohol in Iran, but you can get stoned anytime. 
Your mind is like a Welsh railway - one track and dirty. 
Sausage Rolls, OK
Life is biodegradable art. 
Thank God I'm an atheist. 
Join the Marines - intervene in the country of _your_ choice. 
Examples rule, e.g. 
More deviation, less population. 
Since using your shampoo, my hair has come alive. Signed: Medusa. 
Support mental health, or I'll kill you. 
EINSTEIN RULES RELATIVELY, OK - well, in theory anyway. 
VICI, VENI, VD 
BE ALERT - your country needs lerts. 
LIONS 7, CHRISTIANS 0 - Christians in heaven, lions ill. 
Mutate now and beat the rush. 
LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR - regularly. 
Forget the notes and play the music. 
NOTHING BEATS THE GREAT SMELL OF BRUT - then why not use nothing?
Nudists are people who wear one-button suits. 
Oedipus was the first man to bridge the generation gap. 
Support wild life - vote for an orgy.
Orville was also Wright. 
Men who put women on pedestals rarely knock them off. 
JESUS LOVES BLACK AND WHITE (but he prefers Johnny Walker). 
ST PETER'S SQUARE - I know he is. 
A woman is like a piano. If she's not upright she's grand. 
Power corrupts - absolute power is even more fun. 
Dentists are not prejudiced - they hate everyone. 
Old professors never die - they simply lose their faculties. 
Drivers - don't pull off to avoid a child - you might fall of the bed. 
PUNK IS DEAD! - no, it just smells that way. 
QUASIMODO - that name rings a bell. 
Toilet paper supplied by the Master of the Rolls. 
LIBERTE - EGALITE - FRATERNITE - maternite.
IN CASE OF FIRE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE THE LIFTS - try a fire extinquisher. 
Give sadists a fair crack of the whip. 
Save fuel - burn an Arab. 
Sex kills - die happy. 
Skinheads have mor hair than brains. 
FRENCH MAKE THE BEST LOVERS - the Japanese make them smaller and cheaper. 
Guy Fawkes! Where are you now that we need you?
Feel superior - become a nun!
Support British Steel - smelt the Iron Lady. 
What's stiff and excites women? Elvis Presley. 
Stop the world - I want to get off. 
If you're not the part of solution then you're part of the problem. 
SODOM IS A SUMMER FESTIVAL - Gomorrah the merrier. 
Apathy rules, oh dear...
THIS IS THE AGE OF THE TRAIN - it takes an age to catch one. 
Visit Russia before Russia visits you. 
Have wife, must travel. 
Help your local police cut out grafitti. Carry a saw. 
If you have wet dreams, take your umbrella to bed with you. 
Bureaucracy rules OK OK OK
Two's company, three's a deformity. 
Fight for the right to pretend to work. 
I used to be schizophrenic, but now I'm lonely. 
Say it with flowers - give her a triffid!
I looked up my wife's family tree - half the family were still living in it!
When I shout to my dog "attack" - he has one! 
Amnesia rules - O 
I've got amnesia. FORGET IT! 
The cost of living is killing me! 
Life is like an ashtray - full of little doubts! 
Things are more like they used to be than they are now!
I'm leading the revolution - which way did it go? 
Consideration rules - is that OK? 
Fight unemployment - waste police time. 
My doctor says I/m schizophrenic, but I don't believe him and neither do I!
Be different - get a job! 
YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE - that's all society can stand. 
Fight against violence!
MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING - It isn't even enough! 
Vote for Guy Fawkes - the only man to enter parliament with honest intentions!
Vote for unilateral withdrawal! (It'll solve the population problem!)
I speak Esperanto like a native. 
Poets rule - anonymously. 
DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS - smoke it! 
MARIJUNANA - NATURE'S WAY OF SAYING "HIGH".
Study Art and Logic - and learn to draw your own conclusions. 
Potassium ethoxide rules C2H3OK! 
Antidisestablishmentarianism is easier done than said. 
IQ - Idiot Quotient. 
Musicians do it with an instrument. 
Carpenters do it with their tools. 
Handymen do it with their hands. 
Lumberjacks do it with their choppers. 
Cyclist have it between their legs. 
Dentists do it on the couch. 
Rugby players get a big kick out of it. 
Squash players do it against a wall.
Scrabble players can lay seven at one go. 
Cyclists do it in the saddle. 
Squatters do it squatting.
Inter-City trains are fully air-conditioned - ONLY BECAUSE WINDOWS ARE STUCK
We want more female train drivers - a women has a right to choo-choose. 
It takes a million nuts to build a car - and only one to wreck it! 
Drive carefully - 99% of the population is caused by accidents!
They don't make cars like they auto. 
This car is rust free - the dealer didn't charge for it. 
Kill all known germs - pour Domestos on a Hell's Angel. 
God is dead! - I'm sorry, officer, I didn't see him. 
Cars can damage your health.