英语常用脏话实战 vol.1.txt

工作之余让自己好好轻松一下

{17720}{17782}Whoa, children! Where did|you learn to talk like that?
{17783}{17818}[ Cartman ]|Pretty fuckin' sweet, huh?
{17819}{17889}Chef, how do you make a woman|like you more than any other guy?
{17890}{17962}Oh, that's easy.|You just gotta find the clitoris.
{17964}{18002}- Huh?|- Whoops!
{18004}{18083}- What does that mean,|""find the clitoris""?|- Forget l said anything.
{18085}{18135}Move along.|You're holding up the line.
{18137}{18197}You guys, do you know where|l can find the clitoris?
{18199}{18254}- The what?|- ls that like finding Jesus?
{18256}{18341}[ Mr. Mackey ] Attention, students.|We are now enforcing a new dress code...
{18343}{18383}at South Park Elementary.
{18385}{18472}Terrance and Phillip T-shirts|are no longer allowed in school.
{18473}{18554}Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip|shirt is to be sent home immediately.
{18556}{18648}[ Children Cheering,|Laughing, Chattering ]
{18697}{18783}The R-rated Canadian film Asses of Fire|is number one at the box office.
{18785}{18831}But is the film|destroying American youth?
{18833}{18894}Here with a special report|is a midget in a bikini.
{18895}{18989}lt appears the effects of the Canadian|comedy are far-reaching indeed.
{18991}{19051}All over America|children seem to be influenced...
{19053}{19100}like at this spelling bee|in Washington.
{19101}{19150}This is for|the silver medal.
{19152}{19198}Spell ""forensics.""
{19199}{19264}Aw, fuck that. Why should l fucking|have to spell ""forensics""?
{19266}{19316}- Yeah!|- Here you go.
{19317}{19408}""S-U-C-K M-Y A-S-S.""|Forensics.
{19409}{19480}Tom, the devastating impact|of the Canadian duo can also be seen...
{19480}{19569}with their new hit song,|""Shut Your Fucking Face,|Uncle Fucker.""
{19571}{19647}[ Rapping ]|. Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker .
{19649}{19692}. You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker .
{19694}{19726}. Eh-eh|Eh-eh-eh-eh .
{19727}{19768}. l told you|that we won't stop .
{19770}{19811}. Thought l told you|that we won't stop ..
{19813}{19883}- Back to you, Tom.|- Thanks, Midget. Shocking report.
{19885}{19944}The controversy began in the small|mountain town of South Park...
{19945}{20003}where the local P.T.A.|is trying to ban the movie.
{20005}{20088}- With us tonight is the head|of the P.T.A., Sheila Broflovski.|- Hello.
{20089}{20158}- And the Canadian minister of movies.|- Thanks for having me, buddy.
{20159}{20220}Minister, parents are concerned about|your country's entertainment.
{20222}{20256}Your thoughts?
{20257}{20328}Well, the film is R-rated.|lt's not intended for children--
{20330}{20400}- But of course children|are gonna see it.|- Can l finish?
{20402}{20460}- We Canadians are quite|surprised by your outrage.|- You just don't care!
{20462}{20497}Can l finish? Hello?
{20499}{20569}The United States has graphic violence|on television all the time.
{20571}{20641}We can't believe that a movie|with some foul language|would piss you off so much.
{20643}{20705}- Because it's evil!|- Can l finish? Please! Can l finish?
{20731}{20772}Okay, l'm finished.
{20773}{20860}But it isn't like this film is the first|troublesome thing to come out of Canada.
{20861}{20908}Let us not forget|Bryan Adams.
{20909}{20980}The Canadian government has apologized|for Bryan Adams on several occasions.
{20981}{21028}You Canadians|are all the same...
{21029}{21076}with your beady eyes|and flapping heads.
{21077}{21136}- You're trash!|- l resent that! l find that racist!
{21138}{21205}- Our children are now|addicted to your trash.|- You are a racist, ma'am!
{21207}{21330}lt is going to take us weeks|to erase the damage this film|has done to our children!
{21384}{21472}Um, kids, l wanna welcome you|to rehabilitation. M'kay?
{21474}{21540}Your mothers insisted that you be taken|from your normal schoolwork...
{21540}{21598}and placed into rehab|to learn not to swear.
{21599}{21646}l don't belong|with these rogues.
{21647}{21718}l attended Yardale and had|a 4.0 grade point average.
{21719}{21766}You're a fuckin' faggot, dude.
{21767}{21825}M'kay, children, this is|what l'm talking about.
{21827}{21883}We have to get you off|of foul language.
{21885}{21942}- How are we gonna do that?|- Well, listen here.
{21944}{22016}[ Speaking Song lntro ] There are times|when you get suckered in...
{22018}{22110}by drugs and alcohol|and sex with women-- m'kay?
{22112}{22169}But it's when you do|these things too much...
{22171}{22291}. That you've become an addict|and must get back in touch .
{22293}{22367}. You can do it|lt's all up to you, m'kay .
{22403}{22477}. With a little plan you can|change your life today .
{22479}{22535}. You don't have to spend your life|addicted to smack .
{22537}{22603}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for crack .
{22605}{22680}. Follow my plan|and very soon you will say .
{22682}{22743}. lt's easy, m'kay .
{22745}{22779}. Step one|lnstead of ""ass,"" say ""buns"" .
{22780}{22836}. Like ""kiss my buns""|or ""you're a buns-hole"" .
{22838}{22875}. Step two|lnstead of ""shit,"" say ""poo"" .
{22877}{22939}. As in ""bull-poo,"" ""poo-head""|and ""this poo is cold"" .
{22941}{22976}. Step three|With ""bitch,"" drop the ""T"" .
{22978}{23039}. 'Cause bich is Latin|for ""generosity"" .
{23040}{23075}. Step four|Don't say ""fuck"" anymore .
{23077}{23129}. 'Cause ""fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{23131}{23186}. So just use the word ""m'kay"" .
{23188}{23224}. We can do it|lt's all up to us .
{23225}{23278}- . M'kay .|- M'kay.
{23280}{23332}. With a little plan we can|change our lives today .
{23334}{23372}. You can change it today .
{23374}{23431}. You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash .
{23433}{23483}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for cash .
{23484}{23553}. Follow this plan|and very soon you will say .
{23554}{23609}. lt's easy, m'kay .
{23610}{23670}- Step one.|- lnstead of ""ass,"" say ""buns.""
{23671}{23695}Like ""kiss my buns.""
{23697}{23729}Or ""you're a buns-hole.""
{23730}{23770}- Step two.|- lnstead of ""shit,"" say ""poo.""
{23772}{23799}- As in ""bull-poo.""|- ""Poo-head.""
{23801}{23831}And ""this poo is cold.""
{23833}{23872}- Step three.|- With ""bitch,"" drop the ""T.""
{23874}{23929}'Cause bich is Latin|for ""generosity.""
{23930}{23969}- Step four!|- . Don't say ""fuck"" anymore .
{23971}{24023}. 'Cause ""fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{24025}{24072}. ""Fuck"" is the worst word|that you can say .
{24073}{24108}. We shouldn't say ""fuck""|No, we shouldn't say ""fuck"" .
{24110}{24167}- . Fuck no .|- You're cured! You can go!
{24169}{24223}. You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash .
{24225}{24274}. Homeless on the streets|Giving hand jobs for cash .
{24276}{24351}. Follow this plan|and very soon you will say .
{24353}{24396}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m'kay .
{24397}{24440}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m'kay .
{24442}{24515}- . lt's easy, m'kay .|- . lt's easy, m--|lt's easy, m-- .
{24516}{24563}. lt's easy, m'kay ..
{24565}{24635}- [ All Laughing ]|- [ Mr. Mackey ] M'kay! M'kay!
{24637}{24678}M'kay.
{24680}{24726}Now you're cured.
{24728}{24798}You can take the rest of the afternoon|off for personal reflection. M'kay?
{24800}{24896}Find your own constructive way|to better yourself, m'kay?
{24900}{24975}[ Cackling ] Well, Phillip,|l hope you've learned something...
{24977}{25015}through this whole experience.
{25017}{25080}l did. l learned that you are|a boner-biting, dick-fart-fuck-face.
{25082}{25128}[ Both Cackling ]
{25129}{25191}Want to see|the Northern Lights?
{25193}{25235}[ Poot ]
{25236}{25311}You burnt yourself to death|by lighting your fart! [ Cackling ]
{25313}{25372}l sure did, Phillip!
{25374}{25433}. Uncle Fucker ..
{25434}{25465}Good night!
{25467}{25513}[ Cheering, Laughing ]
{25515}{25561}That movie rules!
{25563}{25624}Man, that movie gets better|every time l see it.
{25626}{25696}- [ Attendant ] Hey!|- Yeah, but that part about|lighting farts is bullshit.
{25698}{25754}- You can't do that.|- [ Muffled ] Yeah, you can.
{25755}{25813}- No way!|- [ Muffled ] Yes, you can!
{25814}{25881}Okay, Kenny, l'll bet you $100|you can't light a fart on fire.
{25883}{25916}[ Muffled Reply ]
{25978}{26032}- [ Poot ]|- [ Kenny Giggling ]
{26034}{26088}- [ Screaming ]|- Holy shit, dude!
{26090}{26136}Oh, my God!
{26137}{26180}Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
{26181}{26223}Help! Somebody do something!
{26225}{26269}This stick is on fire!
{26324}{26363}[ Gasps ]
{26364}{26411}[ Kenny Screaming, Muffled ]
{26412}{26482}- Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!|- You bastard!
{26484}{26547}l guess you can|light a fart on fire.
{26573}{26627}[ Nurse ]|Over here, Doctor!
{26629}{26698}- Load that l.V. with 70 ccs|of sodium pentothol.|- We just called the parents.
{26700}{26777}Now our moms are gonna find out|we went to the Terrance|and Phillip movie again.
{26779}{26866}Vacuum! Try to untangle|his trachea and esophagus!
{26868}{26918}- Dude!|- No, that doesn't go there!
{26920}{26975}[ Screaming ]
{26977}{27046}- Ohh!|- Gross, Stan!|- That's sick!
{27048}{27090}- [ Nurse ] Watch his liver!|- l'll get it!
{27092}{27155}- [ Continues Screaming ]|- We have precious little time left!
{27157}{27207}- We're gonna lose him soon!|- Doctor, his heart's stopped!
{27209}{27264}Let's get it out of there!|We need to zap this, quick!
{27315}{27361}Who's making a potato?
{27363}{27402}My bad, sir.|l missed lunch.
{27404}{27471}Damn it, l'm not|gonna lose this kid!
{27473}{27577}[ Doctor ] Close him up. We've done|all we can. The rest is up to God.
{27614}{27684}- Kenny? Kenny, can you hear me?|- [ Muffled ] Holy shit, dude.
{27686}{27764}- How are you feeling, son?|- [ Muffled Reply ]
{27766}{27812}Great.|Son, l have some bad news.
{27814}{27908}We accidentally replaced|your heart with a baked potato.|You have three seconds to live.
{27909}{27970}- [ Muffled ] What?|- Fucking weak, dude!
{27972}{28019}Oh, my God.|They killed Kenny!
{28020}{28058}You bastards!
{28060}{28164}Damn it!|lt never gets any easier!
{28166}{28212}.. [ Whistling ]
{28245}{28304}l bet him he couldn't do it.|l bet him $100.
{28305}{28352}Cartman, it's not your fault.
{28353}{28424}No, l know. l'm just fuckin' stoked|l don't have to pay him.
{28424}{28494}Oh, that's real nice.|He was your friend, you fat fuck!
{28496}{28567}So, boys,|you saw that movie again?
{28569}{28632}- [ All ] Yes.|- Well, Kyle, l have had it!
{28634}{28691}You are grounded|for the next two weeks!
{28693}{28739}[ Gasps ]|Grounded?
{28741}{28780}And you, Stan.|Come on.
{28782}{28829}And you're grounded|for three weeks, Eric.
{28830}{28892}Why am l grounded more?|That's fuckin' bullshit!
{28924}{28964}What was that word, young man?
{28966}{29056}[ Echoing ]|...word, young man?|...word, young man?
{29304}{29390}[ Male Singer, Ballad ]|. Little boy at peace .
{29392}{29492}What is this place?|. Beyond the stars .
{29494}{29553}. Open up your eyes .
{29554}{29654}. What are these things|you're moving toward .
{29656}{29728}. Head so full of wonder .
{29730}{29803}. Worries in the past .
{29804}{29855}. Could it be|that you are free at last .
{29857}{29916}[ Buzzer Sounding ]
{29918}{29963}No! Whoo-hoo!
{29964}{30011}- [ Singer Wailing ]|- .. [ Heavy Metal ]
{30085}{30138}. Little boy|you're going to Hell .
{30140}{30189}. You said bad words|Threw rocks at the birds .
{30191}{30231}. And now|this is your hotel .
{30233}{30296}. You ain't goin' back|This ain't Disneyland|lt's Hell .
{30297}{30347}- [ Roaring ]|- [ Screaming ]
{30349}{30408}. Little boy|it's time for you to pay .
{30410}{30463}. For hurtin' that bird|and not goin to church|and starin' at boobs every day .
{30464}{30558}. Thought you were in bed|lnstead, you're in Hell .
{30560}{30647}- [ Whimpering ]|- . Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell .
{30649}{30724}. Oh, Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell .
{30726}{30773}[ Shouting ln German ]
{30774}{30821}Hey, fuck-face,|have you seen Gracie?
{30822}{30904}There is orderliness|in the universe.
{30906}{30959}. Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good .
{30961}{30990}. Hell ..
{31143}{31174}[ Poot ]
{31221}{31299}Parents, our children|are out of control.
{31300}{31395}This is what happens when toilet humor|is allowed to run rampant!
{31396}{31443}That's right.|Kenny set himself on fire...
{31445}{31518}because he saw Terrance and Phillip|do it in that dirty movie!
{31520}{31590}We must stop dirty language|from getting to our children's ears!
{31592}{31652}We must go fight|the source of it!
{31653}{31741}- But what is the source?|- Oh, that's easy.
{31744}{31810}. Times have changed|Our kids are getting worse .
{31812}{31847}. They won't obey their parents .
{31849}{31886}. They just want|to fart and curse .
{31888}{31923}. Should we|blame the government .
{31925}{31960}. Or blame society .
{31961}{32023}. Or should we blame|the images on TV .
{32025}{32099}- No!|. Blame Canada .|- . Blame Canada .
{32100}{32132}. Before their beady|little eyes .
{32134}{32181}. Have packed their heads|so full of lies .
{32183}{32254}. Blame Canada|Blame Canada .
{32255}{32291}. We need to form|a full assault .
{32293}{32351}. lt's Canada's fault .
{32352}{32408}. Don't blame me|for my son Stan .
{32410}{32492}. He saw the darn cartoon|and now he's off to join the Klan .
{32494}{32560}. And my boy Eric once had|my picture on his shelf .
{32562}{32622}. But now when l see him|he tells me to fuck myself .
{32624}{32662}Well?|. Blame Canada .
{32664}{32702}. Blame Canada .
{32704}{32770}. lt seems that everything's gone wrong|since Canada came along .
{32772}{32814}. Blame Canada .
{32816}{32856}. Blame Canada .
{32858}{32935}. They're not even|a real country anyway .
{32937}{33014}. My son could've been a doctor|or a lawyer rich and true .
{33016}{33090}. lnstead he burned up|like a piggy on a barbecue .
{33092}{33158}- . Should we blame the matches .|- . Should we blame the fire .
{33160}{33212}. Or the doctors who|allowed him to expire .
{33214}{33266}Heck, no!|. Blame Canada .
{33268}{33306}. Blame Canada .
{33308}{33343}. With all their hockey|hullabaloo .
{33345}{33386}. And that bitch|Anne Murray too .
{33388}{33457}. Blame Canada|Shame on Canada .
{33458}{33523}. For the smut we must stop|The trash we must smash .
{33524}{33554}. The laughter and fun|must all be undone .
{33556}{33592}. We must blame them|and cause a fuss .
{33594}{33753}. Before somebody|thinks of blaming us ..