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笑话堂(含上万数据) 笑话堂(含上万数据) 笑话堂(含上万数据)

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          <TD BGCOLOR="#ff6600" HEIGHT="22">　 <FONT COLOR="#ffffff">笑话分类</FONT></TD>
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            <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="javascript" SRC="js/jokesort.js"></SCRIPT>
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          <TD BGCOLOR="#ff6600" HEIGHT="22">　 <FONT COLOR="#ffffff">笑话检索</FONT></TD>
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                    <TD CLASS=gb2 VALIGN=top><FONT COLOR=#000000>关键字查询 &gt;&gt;&gt;</FONT><BR>
                      <input name="keyword" type="text" value="::哈哈笑吧::" size="12"> 
<INPUT TYPE=submit VALUE=检索 NAME=search2 CLASS="submit">
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          <TD WIDTH="160" HEIGHT="22" ALIGN="CENTER" VALIGN="middle" bgcolor="#FF6600"><FONT COLOR=#ffffff>十佳文字榜</FONT> 
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              <TR><TD WIDTH="5">&nbsp;</TD><TD WIDTH="155"><SCRIPT LANGUAGE="javascript" SRC="js/top10list.js"></SCRIPT></TD></TR></TABLE>
            <FONT COLOR=#ffffff>十佳图片榜 </FONT> 
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                <TD WIDTH="5" height="26">&nbsp;</TD>
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        <script language="LiveScript">
     function get1() {
     alert("答案：温度计 ");
     }
function get2(){
alert("答案：火葬 ");
     }
function get3(){
alert("答案：因为穿高跟鞋走得慢，很容易被男人追上 ");
     }
function get4(){
alert("答案：前公（功）尽气 (弃.");
     }
</script> 
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          <TD WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb1">&nbsp;&nbsp;随机爆笑</TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="25" VALIGN="middle" bgcolor="#c4da2c" CLASS="gb2">·什么东西天气越热，它爬的越高？[<A HREF="javascript:get1();">答案</A>]</TD>
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            <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="96%"> 
<TR> <%
set rs=server.createobject("adodb.recordset")
 sql="select picid,picname,picsy,spicurl from pic where picsy>0"
 rs.open sql,conn,1,1
 IF Not rs.Eof Then
'//定义n为总记录数,m为要随机提取记录数，m如为随机数则可随机提取m条记录
'//注意：m<=n
	dim n,m
	n=rs.recordcount
	m=3
'//建立随机数组
	Randomize
	dim k,p,tp,i
	For k=0 to 100000
		p=fix(rnd*n)+1
		if Not instr(tp,p)>0 then
			tp=tp & p & ","
			i=i+1
		end if
		if i>=m then exit for
	Next
	dim t
	t=split(tp,",")
	For i=0 To m-1 and not rs.eof
'//根据随机数组定位记录指针
	rs.absoluteposition=t(i)%> <TD VALIGN="top" HEIGHT="18" > <TABLE WIDTH="166" HEIGHT="136" BORDER="0" ALIGN="center" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" bgcolor="#f1f1f1">
                    <TR> 
                      <TD VALIGN="TOP" BGCOLOR="#f1f1f1" BACKGROUND="images/joke_home_pic_bg.gif" WIDTH="166" > 
                        <A HREF="piclist.asp?picid=<%=rs("picid")%>" TARGET="_blank">
                        <% 

pic=rs("spicurl")
 if instr(pic,"[img]") then
			 pic = Replace(pic, "[img]","<img src=")
			 pic = Replace(pic, "[/img]"," width=160 height=110 border=0>")  
		  else
			 pic = Replace(pic, "[up]","<img src=upload/")
			 pic = Replace(pic, "[/up]"," width=160 height=110 border=0>")  
		  end if
		  Response.Write (pic)
		  Response.Write (count)
    %>
                        </A></TD>
                    </TR> <TR> 
                      <TD ALIGN="center" BGCOLOR="#f1f1f1" HEIGHT="20"> 
                        <TABLE WIDTH="100%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"> 
<TR> 
                            <TD HEIGHT="20" ALIGN="center" bgcolor="#f1f1f1"><A HREF="piclist.asp?picid=<%=rs("picid")%>" TARGET="_blank"><%=rs("picname")%></A></TD>
                          </TR> 
</TABLE></TD></TR></TABLE></TD><%if rs.eof then exit for
	next
	end if
       rs.close
       set rs=nothing
 %> </TR> </TABLE>
          </TD>
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          <TD WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb1">&nbsp;&nbsp;笑话连篇十年少</TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb2">·人在什么情况下会真的七窍生烟? [<A HREF="javascript:get2();">答案</A>] 
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<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="3" CELLSPACING="5" WIDTH="96%" ALIGN="center" > 
<%
dim sort
sort="暴笑网文"
set rs=server.createobject("adodb.recordset")               
sql="select articleid,title,hits,syxs,sort from learning where syxs<>0 and sort<>'"&sort&"' order by dateandtime desc"                  
rs.open sql,conn,1,1
n=0
 do while not rs.eof                      
 %> <TR> <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"> 
<TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"><TR><TD><LI><A HREF=list.asp?id=<%=rs("articleid")%> TARGET=_blank><%=rs("title")%></A>　<%=rs("hits")%> 
</TD></TR></TABLE></TD><% rs.movenext%> <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"><TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"><TR><TD><LI><A HREF="list.asp?id=<%=rs("articleid")%>" TARGET=_blank><%=rs("title")%></A>　<%=rs("hits")%> 
</TD></TR></TABLE></TD><%                           
n=n+1
rs.movenext
if n>=8 then exit do
loop
rs.close
set rs=nothing                                
%> </TR> </TABLE></TD></TR></TABLE><BR>
      <TABLE WIDTH="99%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0">
        <TR valign="middle" bordercolor="#5ccaf4" bgcolor="#5ccaf4"> 
          <TD HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb1">&nbsp;&nbsp;搞笑图片连轴转</TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="25" bordercolor="#5ccaf4" bgcolor="#5ccaf4" CLASS="gb2">·为什么女人穿高跟鞋后，就代表她快结婚了? 
            [<a href="javascript:get3();">答案</a>] </TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="25" ALIGN="RIGHT"><a href="picclass.asp" target="_blank">更多笑话.....</a></TD>
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        <TR valign="middle"> 
          <TD WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="1" bgcolor="#000000"></TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="1" bgcolor="#000000"></TD>
          <TD  WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="1" bgcolor="#000000"></TD>
        </TR>
        <TR> 
          <TD HEIGHT="10" COLSPAN="4" ALIGN="CENTER" bgcolor="#f1f1f1"><BR> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="3" CELLSPACING="5" WIDTH="96%" ALIGN="center" >
              <%
set rs=server.createobject("adodb.recordset")               
sql="select picid,picname,pichits from pic where picsy<>0  order by adate desc"                  
rs.open sql,conn,1,1
nn=0
 do while not rs.eof                      
 %>
              <TR> 
                <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"> 
                  <TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0">
                    <TR>
                      <TD><LI><A HREF="piclist.asp?picid=<%=rs("picid")%>" TARGET="_blank"><%=rs("picname")%></A>　<%=rs("pichits")%> 
                      </TD>
                    </TR>
                  </TABLE></TD>
                <% rs.movenext%>
                <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"><TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0">
                    <TR>
                      <TD><LI><A HREF="piclist.asp?picid=<%=rs("picid")%>" TARGET="_blank"><%=rs("picname")%></A>　<%=rs("pichits")%> 
                      </TD>
                    </TR>
                  </TABLE></TD>
                <%                           
nn=nn+1
rs.movenext
if nn>=8 then exit do
loop
rs.close
set rs=nothing                               
%>
              </TR>
            </TABLE></TD>
        </TR>
      </TABLE>
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      <TABLE WIDTH="99%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0">
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          <TD WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb1">&nbsp;&nbsp;爆笑网文乐翻天</TD>
          <TD HEIGHT="25" CLASS="gb2">·有一位女士离婚数次 打一四字成语 [<A HREF="javascript:get4();">答案</A>]</TD>
          <TD  WIDTH="20%" HEIGHT="25" ALIGN="RIGHT"><A HREF="class.asp" TARGET="_blank">更多笑话.....</A></TD>
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        <TR bgcolor="#f1f1f1"> 
          <TD HEIGHT="10" COLSPAN="4" ALIGN="CENTER"><BR> 
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="3" CELLSPACING="5" WIDTH="96%" ALIGN="center" > 
<%
set rs=server.createobject("adodb.recordset")               
sql="select articleid,title,hits,sort,syxs from learning where syxs<>0 and sort='"&sort&"' order by dateandtime desc"                  
rs.open sql,conn,1,1
n=0
 do while not rs.eof                      
 %> <TR> <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"> 
<TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"><TR><TD><LI><A HREF="list.asp?id=<%=rs("articleid")%>" TARGET=_blank><%=rs("title")%></A>　<%=rs("hits")%> 
</TD></TR></TABLE></TD><% rs.movenext%> <TD HEIGHT="20" VALIGN="middle" WIDTH="33%" ONMOUSEOVER="this.bgColor = '#f0f0f0'" ONMOUSEOUT="this.bgColor = '#F6F6F6'" BGCOLOR="#F6F6F6" ALIGN="RIGHT"><TABLE WIDTH="96%" BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0"><TR><TD><LI><A HREF="list.asp?id=<%=rs("articleid")%>" TARGET="_blank"><%=rs("title")%></A>　<%=rs("hits")%> 
</TD></TR></TABLE></TD><%                           
n=n+1
rs.movenext
if n>=8 then exit do
loop
rs.close
set rs=nothing                                
%> </TR> </TABLE><BR></TD></TR></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD COLSPAN="3" BGCOLOR="#000000" HEIGHT="1"></TD></TR></TABLE>
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