alice.html

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there was silence for some minutes.
<P>
<P>The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
<P>
<P>'What size do you want to be?' it asked.
<P>
<P>'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one doesn't
like changing so often, you know.'
<P>
<P>'I <I>don't</I> know,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life
before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
<P>
<P>'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Well, I should like to be a <I>little</I> larger, sir, if you wouldn't
mind,' said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.'
<P>
<P>'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing
itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
<P>
<P>'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she
thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!'
<P>
<P>'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah
into its mouth and began smoking again.
<P>
<P>This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute
or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or
twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in
the grass, merely remarking as it went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and
the other side will make you grow shorter.'
<P>
<P>'One side of <I>what</I>? The other side of <I>what</I>?' thought Alice to
herself.
<P>
<P>'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud;
and in another moment it was out of sight.
<P>
<P>Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to
make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she
found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms
round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each
hand.
<P>
<P>'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the
right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow
underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
<P>
<P>She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that
there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work
at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against
her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last,
and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
<P>
<P>
<P align=center>* * * * *</P>
<P>
<P>'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which
changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were
nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense
length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves
that lay far below her.
<P>
<P>'What <I>can</I> all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where <I>have</I>
my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?' She was
moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little
shaking among the distant green leaves.
<P>
<P>As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she
tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck
would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded
in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the
leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large
pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
<P>
<P>'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
<P>
<P>'I'm <I>not</I> a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!'
<P>
<P>'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and
added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems to suit
them!'
<P>
<P>'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.
<P>
<P>'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried hedges,'
the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those serpents! There's no
pleasing them!'
<P>
<P>Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying
anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
<P>
<P>'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon; 'but I
must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven't had a wink of
sleep these three weeks!'
<P>
<P>'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to see
its meaning.
<P>
<P>'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the Pigeon,
raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I should be free of
them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
<P>
<P>'But I'm <I>not</I> a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--'
<P>
<P>'Well! <I>what</I> are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to
invent something!'
<P>
<P>'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the
number of changes she had gone through that day.
<P>
<P>'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt.
'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never <I>one</I> with such a
neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose
you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'
<P>
<P>'I <I>have</I> tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful
child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.'
<P>
<P>'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're a
kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
<P>
<P>This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or
two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're looking for eggs,
I know <I>that</I> well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you're a
little girl or a serpent?'
<P>
<P>'It matters a good deal to <I>me</I>,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not
looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want <I>yours</I>: I
don't like them raw.'
<P>
<P>'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down
again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could,
for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then
she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held
the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully,
nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and
sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual
height.
<P>
<P>It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt
quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began
talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done now! How puzzling
all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into
that beautiful garden--how <I>is</I> that to be done, I wonder?' As she said
this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about four
feet high. 'Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon
them <I>this</I> size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she
began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the
house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.
<P>
<HR>

<H3 align=center>CHAPTER VI</H3>
<P>
<H3 align=center>Pig and Pepper</H3>
<P>For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what to do
next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood--(she
considered him to be a footman because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by
his face only, she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery, with a round
face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered
hair that curled all over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was
all about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
<P>
<P>The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter, nearly
as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other, saying, in a solemn
tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The
Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
words a little, 'From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.'
<P>
<P>Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
<P>
<P>Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the wood for
fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the Fish-Footman was
gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the door, staring stupidly up
into the sky.
<P>
<P>Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
<P>
<P>'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for two
reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you are; secondly,
because they're making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And
certainly there was a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant
howling and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish or
kettle had been broken to pieces.
<P>
<P>'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'
<P>
<P>'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on without
attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance, if you were
<I>inside</I>, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.' He was
looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this Alice thought
decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; 'his
eyes are so <I>very</I> nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate he might
answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.
<P>
<P>'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--'
<P>
<P>At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came skimming
out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose, and broke to
pieces against one of the trees behind him.
<P>
<P>'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly as if
nothing had happened.
<P>
<P>'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
<P>
<P>'<I>Are</I> you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first
question, you know.'
<P>
<P>It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really
dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue. It's
enough to drive one crazy!'
<P>
<P>The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his remark,
with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for days and days.'
<P>
<P>'But what am I to do?' said Alice.
<P>
<P>'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
<P>
<P>'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's
perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
<P>
<P>The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end
to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle,
nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron
which seemed to be full of soup.
<P>
<P>'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself, as
well as she could for sneezing.
<P>
<P>There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed
occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling alternately
without a moment's pause. The only thi