alice.html

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<P>There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers now
and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at all!' 'Do as I
tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her hand again, and made
another snatch in the air. This time there were <I>two</I> little shrieks, and
more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of cucumber-frames there must be!'
thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for pulling me out of the
window, I only wish they <I>could</I>! I'm sure I don't want to stay in here any
longer!'
<P>
<P>She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a
rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices all talking
together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to
bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half high enough
yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of
this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down!
Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's
to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! <I>you</I> do it!--That I won't,
then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to go down the
chimney!'
<P>
<P>'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to herself.
'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a
good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but I <I>think</I> I can kick a
little!'
<P>
<P>She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited till she
heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was) scratching and
scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then, saying to herself 'This
is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.
<P>
<P>The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!' then the
Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then silence, and then
another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How
was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'
<P>
<P>Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought Alice,)
'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm a deal too
flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me like a
Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!'
<P>
<P>'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
<P>
<P>'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called out
as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'
<P>
<P>There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I wonder
what they <I>will</I> do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the roof off.'
After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit
say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.'
<P>
<P>'A barrowful of <I>what</I>?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt,
for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window,
and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to
herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!' which produced
another dead silence.
<P>
<P>Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her head. 'If
I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make <I>some</I> change in
my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
suppose.'
<P>
<P>So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she began
shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through the door, she
ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little animals and birds
waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up
by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle. They all made
a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could,
and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.
<P>
<P>'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered
about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second thing is
to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be the best plan.'
<P>
<P>It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply arranged;
the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea how to set about it;
and while she was peering about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark
just over her head made her look up in a great hurry.
<P>
<P>An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and feebly
stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in
a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly
frightened all the time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.
<P>
<P>Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and held it
out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at
once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry
it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy made another rush
at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then
Alice, thinking it was very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and
expecting every moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a
very little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely all
the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with its tongue
hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
<P>
<P>This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she set off
at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and till the
puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
<P>
<P>'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant against a
buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the leaves: 'I should
have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to
do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me
see--how IS it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or
other; but the great question is, what?'
<P>
<P>The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at the
flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that looked like
the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances. There was a large
mushroom growing near her, about the same height as herself; and when she had
looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that
she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.
<P>
<P>She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the mushroom,
and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar, that was sitting on
the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the
smallest notice of her or of anything else.
<P>
<P>
<HR>

<H3 align=center>CHAPTER V</H3>
<P>
<H3 align=center>Advice from a Caterpillar</H3>
<P>The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at
last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a
languid, sleepy voice.
<P>
<P>'Who are <I>you</I>?' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather
shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when
I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since
then.'
<P>
<P>'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain yourself!'
<P>
<P>'I can't explain <I>myself</I>, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not
myself, you see.'
<P>
<P>'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, 'for I
can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a
day is very confusing.'
<P>
<P>'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you have
to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into
a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little queer, won't you?'
<P>
<P>'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know is,
it would feel very queer to <I>me</I>.'
<P>
<P>'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are <I>you</I>?'
<P>
<P>Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice
felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such <I>very</I> short
remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think, you ought to
tell me who <I>you</I> are, first.'
<P>
<P>'Why?' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good
reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a <I>very</I> unpleasant state of
mind, she turned away.
<P>
<P>'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important to
say!'
<P>
<P>This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
<P>
<P>'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
<P>
<P>'No,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and
perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it
puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah
out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think you're changed, do you?'
<P>
<P>'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I used--and I
don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
<P>
<P>'Can't remember <I>what</I> things?' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Well, I've tried to say "<I>How doth the little busy bee,</I>" but it all
came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
<P>
<P>'Repeat, "<I>you are old, Father William,</I>"' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>Alice folded her hands, and began:--
<P>
<P><I>'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 'And your hair has
become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head-- Do you think, at
your age, it is right?'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 'I feared it might
injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it
again and again.'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, And have grown most
uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door-- Pray, what is
the reason of that?'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, 'I kept all my
limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box-- Allow me
to sell you a couple?'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak For anything
tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray how did you manage to do it?'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, And argued each case
with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the
rest of my life.'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose That your eye was
as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose-- What made
you so awfully clever?'</I>
<P>
<P><I>'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said his father;
'don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be
off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'</I>
<P>
<P>'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
<P>
<P>'Not <I>quite</I> right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
have got altered.'
<P>
<P>'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and