alice.html

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ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
<P>
<P>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like you,'
(she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I
tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there
was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down
the hall.
<P>
<P>After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she
hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit
returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a
large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! <I>won't</I> she be
savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to
ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low,
timid voice, 'If you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the
white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he
could go.
<P>
<P>Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept
fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How queer
everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if
I've been changed in the night? Let me think: <I>was</I> I the same when I got
up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But
if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah,
<I>that's</I> the great puzzle!' And she began thinking over all the children
she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been
changed for any of them.
<P>
<P>'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long ringlets,
and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Mabel, for I
know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a very little! Besides,
<I>she's</I> she, and <I>I'm</I> I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll
try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is
twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! I
shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table
doesn't signify: let's try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris
is the capital of Rome, and Rome--no, <I>that's</I> all wrong, I'm certain! I
must have been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "<I>How doth the
little--</I>"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying
lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and
the words did not come the same as they used to do:--
<P>
<P>
<BLOCKQUOTE><I>'How doth the little crocodile
  <P>Improve his shining tail,
  <P>And pour the waters of the Nile
  <P>On every golden scale!
  <P><BR>'How cheerfully he seems to grin,
  <P>How neatly spread his claws,
  <P>And welcome little fishes in
  <P>With gently smiling jaws!</I>'
  <P></P></BLOCKQUOTE>
<P>'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes
filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and I shall
have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to no toys to play
with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it;
if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their heads
down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up and say "Who am I
then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up:
if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice,
with a sudden burst of tears, 'I do wish they <I>would</I> put their heads down!
I am so <I>very</I> tired of being all alone here!'
<P>
<P>As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see that
she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while she was
talking. 'How <I>can</I> I have done that?' she thought. 'I must be growing
small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and
found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high, and
was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that the cause of this was
the fan she was holding, and she dropped it hastily, just in time to avoid
shrinking away altogether.
<P>
<P>'That <I>was</I> a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the
sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and now for
the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the
little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass
table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child, 'for
I never was so small as this before, never! And I declare it's too bad, that it
is!'
<P>
<P>As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she
was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen
into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself.
(Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a number of
bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden
spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.)
However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept
when she was nine feet high.
<P>
<P>'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to
find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned
in my own tears! That <I>will</I> be a queer thing, to be sure! However,
everything is queer to-day.'
<P>
<P>Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way off,
and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought it must be a
walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small she was now, and she
soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.
<P>
<P>'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse?
Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very likely it
can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do
you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O
Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse: she
had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having seen in her
brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!'
The Mouse looked at her rather inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one
of its little eyes, but it said nothing.
<P>
<P>'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's a
French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all her
knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago anything had
happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence
in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the water, and
seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice
hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot
you didn't like cats.'
<P>
<P>'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would
<I>you</I> like cats if you were me?'
<P>
<P>'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry about it.
And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd take a fancy to
cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on,
half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so
nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and she is such a
nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I
beg your pardon!' cried Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all
over, and she felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her
any more if you'd rather not.'
<P>
<P>'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his tail.
'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always <I>hated</I> cats:
nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!'
<P>
<P>'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not answer, so
Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near our house I should
like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long
curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll sit up
and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't remember half of
them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and he says it's so useful, it's
worth a hundred pounds! He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice
in a sorrowful tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was
swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in
the pool as it went.
<P>
<P>So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we won't
talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the Mouse heard
this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with
passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to
the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll understand why it is I
hate cats and dogs.'
<P>
<P>It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the birds
and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an
Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole
party swam to the shore.
<P>
<P>
<HR>

<H3 align=center>CHAPTER III</H3>
<P>
<H3 align=center>A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale</H3>
<P>They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the birds
with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and
all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
<P>
<P>The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a
consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to
Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all
her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last
turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better';
and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory
positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
<P>
<P>At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called
out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! <I>I'll</I> soon make you dry
enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the
middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would
catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
<P>
<P>'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This is the
driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William the Conqueror,
whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who
wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'
<P>
<P>'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
<P>
<P>'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did you
speak?'
<P>
<P>'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
<P>
<P>'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar, the
earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the
patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
<P>
<P>'Found <I>what</I>?' said the Duck.
<P>
<P>'Found <I>it</I>,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what
"it" means.'
<P>
<P>'I know what "it" means well enough, when <I>I</I> find a thing,' said the
Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop
find?'
<P>
<P>The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found it
advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown.
William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans--" How
are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.
<P>
<P>'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to dry me
at all.'
<P>
<P>'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move that the
meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies--'
<P>
<P>'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half those
long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And the Eaglet
bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
<P>
<P>'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that the
best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
<P>
<P>'What <I>is</I> a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know,
but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that <I>somebody</I> ought to speak,
and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
<P>
<P>'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as you
might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the
Dodo managed it.)
<P>
<P>First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact shape
doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course,
here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and away,' but they began running