limerick

早期freebsd实现

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A programmer down in Moline
Said, I'm the match for any machine.
	My secret's aversion,
	To loops and recursion,
Just acres of in-line routine.
		-- W.J. Wilson
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A progressive professor named Winners
Held classes each evening for sinners.
	They were graded and spaced
	So the vile and debased
Would not be held back by beginners.
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A rapist who reeked of cheap booze
Attempted to ravish Miss Hughes.
	She cried, "I suppose
	There's no time for my clothes,
But PLEASE let me take off my shoes!"
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A rapturous young fellatrix
One day was at work on five pricks.
	With an unholy cry
	She whipped out her glass eye:
"Tell the boys I can now take on six."
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A reckless young lady of France
Had no qualms about taking a chance,
	But she thought it was crude
	To get screwed in the nude,
So she always went home with damp pants.
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A remarkable race are the Persians;
They have such peculiar diversions.
	They make love the whole day
	In the usual way
And save up the nights for perversions.
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A remarkable race are the Persians,
They have such peculiar diversions.
	They screw the whole day
	In the regular way,
And save up the nights for perversions.
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A responsive young girl from the East
In bed was an able artiste.
	She had learned two positions
	From family physicians,
And ten more from the old parish priest.
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A romantic attraction has clung
To a chap of whom damsels have sung:
	"'Tis the Scourge from the East,
	That lascivious beast
Who was known as Attila the Hung!"
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A sailor who slept in the sun,
Woke to find his fly buttons undone,
	He remarked with a smile,
	"Good grief, a sun-dial!
And now it's a quarter-past one."
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A savvy young hooker named Gail
Got busted and lodged in the jail.
	But the jailer got hot,
	To be lodged in her twat,
And so Gail made the bail with her tail.
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A scandal involving an oyster
Sent the Countess of Clews to a cloister
	She preferred it, in bed,
	To the count (so she said)
'Cause it's longer and stronger and moister.
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A scream from the crypt of St. Giles
Resounded for miles upon miles.
	Said the friar, "Good gracious,
	The brother Ignatious
Forgeteth the abbot hath piles."
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A seafaring hacker named Slatey
Went to bed with a VAX/780.
	The thing's learned to swear
	With a nautical air,
And refers to its users as "matey".
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A sex-loving coed named Bree
Caught the clap from her Apple IIE.
	The joystick, she found,
	Had been fooling around
With a neighboring student's PC.
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A silly young man from Hong Kong
Had hands that were skinny and long.
	He ate rice with his fingers--
	The taste of it lingers,
But now all his fingers are gone.
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A slick talking pirate named Bruce
To steal code, had a plan to seduce
	An Apple II+.
	Now Bruce wears a truss
And was jailed for computer abuse.
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A software technician from Digital
Had hardware extremely prodigical.
	It's rumoured, I hear,
	That when he was near
He made the ladies all flustered and fidgital.
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A space shuttle pilot named Ventry,
Made love to a lovely girl sentry.
	She started to pout,
	Because it fell out,
But the mission was saved by re-entry.
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A sperm faced, alack and forsooth,
His moment of sexual truth.
	He'd expected to fall
	On a womb's spongy wall
But was dashed to his death on a tooth.
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A spinster in Kalamazoo
Once strolled after dark by the zoo.
	She was seized by the nape,
	And fucked by an ape,
And she murmured, "A wonderful screw."

And she added, "You're rough, yes, and hairy,
But I hope -- yes I do -- that I marry
	A man with a prick
	Half as stiff and as thick
As the kind that you zoo-keepers carry."
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A spunky young schoolboy named Fred
Used totoss off each night while in bed.
	Said his mother, "Dear lad,
	That's exceedingly bad--
Jump in here with your mamma instead."
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A starship commander named Kirk
Emerged from his cabin berserk.
	He grabbed a girl yeoman
	Beneath the abdomen,
And gave her a physical jerk.
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A stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson,
Was having a captive, a person
	Who was not averse
	Though she had the curse,
And he'd breeches of bristling furs on.
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A structured programmer named Drew
Was intensely turned on by "goto".
	When he saw it in code
	He'd shoot off his load.
It's a good thing his shop used so few.
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A studious professor named Nestor
Bet a whore all his books that he could best her.
	But she drained out his balls
	And skipped up the walls,
Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.
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A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
	He said, "Good lord, Tess,
	Don't swallow that mess "
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"
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A sweetheart named Teresa Arden
Went down on her beau in the garden.
	He said, "Good lord, Tess,
	Don't swallow that mess!"
And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"
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A systems programmer named Sprotic
Found his software intensely erotic.
	In jealous distress
	He wiped his OS.
It's possible that he's psychotic.
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A talented fuckstress, Miss Chisholm,
Was renowned for her fine paroxysm.
	While the man detumesced
	She still spent on with zest,
Her rapture sheer anachronism.
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A talented girl from Detroit
Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
	She could squeeze her vagina
	To a pin-point or finer
Or open it out like a quoit.
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A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called te umpire blind out of malice.
	While this worthy had fits
	The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
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A team playing baseball in Dallas
Called the umpire blind out of malice.
	While this worthy had fits
	The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
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A teenage protester named Lil
Cried, "Those watergate spies make me ill
	First they bugged our martinis,
	Our bras and bikinis,
And now they are bugging the pill."
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A thrice-married gal from L.A.
Said, "My hymen's intact to this day,
	'Cause my first (a shrink) talked of it,
	The voyeur only gawked at it,
And my most recent man's a gourmet."
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A tidy young lady of Streator
Dearly loved to nibble a peter.
	She always would say,
	"I prefer it this way.
I think it is very much neater."
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A timid young woman named Jane
Found parties a terrible strain;
	With movements uncertain
	She'd hide in a curtain
And make sounds like a rabbit in pain.
		-- Edward Gorey
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A tired young trollop of Nome
Was worn out from her toes to her dome.
	Eight miners came screwing,
	But she said, "Nothing doing;
One of you has to go home!"
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A trapper named Francois Lefebrve
Once captured and buggered a beabrve.
	The result of this fuck
	Was a three titted duck,
A canoe, and an Irish retriebrve.
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A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to tutor two tutors to toot
	Said the two to the tutor:
	"Is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tutors to toot"
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A vengeful technician named Schmitz
Caused a disk drive to go on the fritz.
	He covered the platter
	With bats' fecal matter.
Now it's seek time is really the pits.
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A very intelligent turtle
Found programming UNIX a hurdle
	The system, you see,
	Ran as slow as did he,
And that's not saying much for the turtle.
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A very odd pair are the Pitts:
His balls are as large as her tits,
	Her tits are as large
	As an invasion barge--
Neither knows how the other cohabits.
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A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
	Said, "Heavens above!
	I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."
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A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
She used it for many a bunt.
	But the unlucky wench
	Got it caught in her trench ---
It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
To get the thing out of her cunt.
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A water pipe suited miss Hunt;
She used it for many a bunt.
	But the unlucky wench
	Got it caught in her trench ---
It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench,
To get the thing out of her cunt. 
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A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blond to his yacht.
	Too lazy to rape her,
	He made darts out of paper,
Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.
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A whimsical fellow named Bloch
Could beat the base drum with his cock.
	With a special erection
	He could play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.
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A wicked stone cutter named Cary
Drilled holes in divine statuary.
	With eyes full of malice
	He pulled out his phallus,
And buggered a stone Virgin Mary.
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A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket
Had a hole as big as a basket.
	A spot, as a bride,
	In it now, you could hide,
And include with your luggage your mascot.
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A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
	Said, "It's been hard since I lost him --
	I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."
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A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His mouth can hold more than his belican.
	He can take in his beak
	Enough food for a week.
And I'm darned if I know how the helican.
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A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His mouth can hold more than his belican.
	He can take in his beak
	Enough food for a week.
I'm darned if I know how the helican.
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A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies,
Renowned for the length of their peenies.
	The hair on their balls
	Sweeps the floors of their halls,
But they don't look at women, the meanies.
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A wood-fetish busboy named Gable
Is rapid, is thorough, is able;
	But when everything's cleared,
	He gives way to the weird,
As he lovingly busses each table.
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A worn-out young husband named Lehr
Her daily his wife's plaintive prayer:
	"Slip on a sheath, quick,
	Then slip your big dick
Between these lips covered with hair."
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A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
	Said the doctor, a cynic,
	"Get out of my clinic
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
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A worried young man from Stamboul
Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
	Said the doctor, a cynic,
	"Get out of my clinic;
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"
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A young bride and groom of Australia
Remarked as they joined genitalia :
	"Though the system seems odd,
	 We are thankful that God
Developed the genus Mammalia."
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A young fellow discovered through Freud
That although of penis devoid,
	He could practice coitus
	By eating a foetus,
And his parents were quite overjoyed.
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A young Juliet of St. Louis
On a balcony stood acting screwy.
	Her Romeo climbed,
	But he wasn't well timed,
And half-way up, off he went -- blooey!
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A young lad named Lester McGraw
Caught a stranger on top of his Maw.
	As he watched him stick her
	He said, with a snicker,
"You do it much faster than Paw."
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A young lady sat by the sea,
Just as proper as proper could be.
	A young fellow goosed her,
	And roughly seduced her,
So she thanked him and went home to tea.
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A young lady who lived by the Usk
Subsisted each day on a rusk;
	She ate the first bite
	Before it was light,
And the last crumb sometime after dusk.
		-- Edward Gorey
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A young lass got married at Chester;
Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
	Said she, "You're in luck --
	'E's a stunning good fuck,
For I've 'ad 'im meself down in Leicester."
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A young maiden from France was no prude,
She decided to dive in the nude,
	But her buddy, behind,
	Went out of his mind,
When he noticed where she was tatooed.
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A young man by a girl was desired
To give her the thrills she required,
	But he died of old age
	Ere his cock could assuage
The volcanic desire it inspired.
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A young man from the banks of the Po
Found his cock had elongated so,
	That when he'd pee
	It was never he
But only his neighbors who'd know.
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A young man grew increasingly peaky
In a house where the hinges were squeaky,
	The ferns curled up brown,
	The ceilings flaked down,
And all of the faucets were leaky.
		-- Edward Gorey
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A young man maintained that his trigger
Was so big that there weren't any bigger.
	But this long and thick pud
	Was so heavy it could
Scarcely lift up its head.  It lacked vigor.
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A young man of acumen and daring,
Who'd amassed a great fortune in herring,
	Was left quite alone
	When it soon became known
That their use at his board was unsparing.
		-- Edward Gorey
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A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
While bent over plucking a dingle
	Had the whole of Eisteddfod
	Taking turns at his pod
While they sang some impossible jingle.
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A young man with passions quite gingery
Tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie.
	He slapped her behind
	And made up his mind
To add incest to insult and injury.
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A young polo-player of Berkeley
Made love to his sweetheart beserkly.
	In the midst of each chukker
	He would break off and fuck her
Horizontally, laterally and verkeley.
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A young systems programmer of Sprotic
Found his software intensely erotic.
	In jealous distress
	He wiped his OS.
It's possible that he's a psychotic.
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A young violinist from Rio
Was seducing a woman named Cleo.
	As she took down her panties
	She said, "No andantes;
I want this allegro con brio!"
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A young wife in the outskirts of Reims
Preferred frigging to going to mass.
	Said her husband, "Take Jacques,
	Or any young cock,
For I cannot live up to your ass."
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A young woman got married at Chester,
Her mother she kissed her and blessed her.
	Says she, "You're in luck,
	He's a stunning good fuck,
For I've had him myself down in Leicester."
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According to experts, the oyster
In its shell - a crustacean cloister -
	May frequently be
	Either he or a she
Or both, if it should be its choice ter.
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Alas for the Countess d'Isere,
Whose muff wasn't furnished with hair.
	Said the Count, "Quelle surprise!"
	When he parted her thighs;
"Magnifique!  Pourtant pas de la guerre."
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