fortunes

早期freebsd实现

(2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.
(3) I don't know.
(4) Who cares?
(5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk,
    Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.
(6) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my
    book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and
    bathroom supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of
    Papyrus Books).
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Anthony's Law of Force:
	Don't force it; get a larger hammer.
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Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
	Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
	corner of the workshop.

Corollary:
	On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike
	your toes.
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Antonym, n.:
	The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
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Any clod can have the facts, but having an opinion is an art.
		-- Charles McCabe
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Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
		-- Charles McCabe
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Any dramatic series the producers want us to take seriously as a
representation of contemporary reality cannot be taken seriously as a
representation of anything -- except a show to be ignored by anyone
capable of sitting upright in a chair and chewing gum simultaneously.
		-- Richard Schickel
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Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
		-- Aesop
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Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that
this country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a
whole week.
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Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to
sell it.
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Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche
-- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea.  For instance,
my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off
the fence."  I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was
undoubtedly true.
		-- Solomon Short
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Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
		-- Sydney J. Harris
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Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger
object.
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Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to
exactly the point of most pressure.
		-- Milt Barber
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Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
		-- Rich Kulawiec
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged
demo.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
		-- Arthur C. Clarke
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Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked
something.
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Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.
		-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
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Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
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Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked.
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Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is
supposed to be doing at the moment.
		-- Robert Benchley
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Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
		-- Publius Syrus
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Anyone can make an omelet with eggs.  The trick is to make one with
none.
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Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.  At best he
is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not
make messes in the house.
		-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
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Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
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Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad.
		-- W. C. Fields
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
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Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never
tried taking candy from a baby.
		-- Robin Hood
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Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
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Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.
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Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
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Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't.  The label means the
price went up.  The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
means the price went way up.
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Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate.
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Anything worth doing is worth overdoing
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"Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution"
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Aphorism, n.:
	A concise, clever statement.
Afterism, n.:
	A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.
		-- James Alexander Thom
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APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection.  It is the language of
the future for the problems of the past: it creates a new generation of
coding bums.
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"APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I
can't read any of them."
		-- Roy Keir
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Aquadextrous, adj.:
	Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off
with your toes.
		-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
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AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
	You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.
	You lie a great deal.  On the other hand, you are inclined to
	be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same
	mistakes over and over again.  People think you are stupid.
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Arbitrary systems, pl.n.:
	Systems about which nothing general can be said, save "nothing
general can be said."
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ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE --
    FIRST WORLD WAR A MISTAKE
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Are you a turtle?
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Are you a turtle?
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"Arguments with furniture are rarely productive."
		-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
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ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
	You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt.  You
	are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice.  You are
	not very nice.
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Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your
shoes.
		-- Mickey Mouse
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Armadillo:
	To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
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Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
	(1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
	(2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
	(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the
	    first two laws.
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Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to
measure progress.  Some cathedrals took a century to complete.  Can you
imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
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Art is anything you can get away with.
		-- Marshall McLuhan.
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Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
		-- Paul Gauguin
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Arthur's Laws of Love:
	(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
	    remind them of someone else.
	(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be
	    delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of
	    yourself in person.
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Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
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As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are
interested in the basic nature of humor.  "What kind of a sick
perverted disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask,
"that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?" ...
		-- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"
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"As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual
certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I
became a scientist.  This is like becoming an archbishop so you can
meet girls."
		-- Matt Cartmill
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As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
		-- Albert Einstein
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As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
		-- Weisert
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As I was going up Punch Card Hill,
	Feeling worse and worser,
There I met a C.R.T.
	And it drop't me a cursor.

C.R.T., C.R.T.,
	Phosphors light on you!
If I had fifty hours a day
	I'd spend them all at you.

		-- Uncle Colonel's Cursory Rhymes
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As I was passing Project MAC,
I met a Quux with seven hacks.
Every hack had seven bugs;
Every bug had seven manifestations;
Every manifestation had seven symptoms.
Symptoms, manifestations, bugs, and hacks,
How many losses at Project MAC?
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As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great
industries are secure.  We hear about constitutional rights, free
speech and the free press.  Every time I hear these words I say to
myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Communist".  You never hear a
real American talk like that.
		-- Frank Hague (1896-1956)
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As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
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As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its
fascination.  When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be
popular.
		-- Oscar Wilde
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As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
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"As part of the conversion, computer specialists rewrote 1,500
programs; a process that traditionally requires some debugging."
		-- USA Today, referring to the IRS switchover to a new
		   computer system.
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As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it
wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had
to be discovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized
that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in
finding mistakes in my own programs.
		-- Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949
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As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's
so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
		-- Woody Allen
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As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
		-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
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As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free
variable."
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As with most fine things, chocolate has its season.  There is a simple
memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
		-- Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
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As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would
interfere with flight.  [In fact, this was the big breakthrough for the
Wright Brothers.  They were watching birds one day, trying to figure
out how to get their crude machine to fly, when suddenly it dawned on
Wilbur.  "Orville," he said, "all we have to do is remove the sexual
organs!"  You should have seen their original design.]  As a result,
birds are very, very difficult to arouse sexually.  You almost never
see an aroused bird.  So when they want to reproduce, birds fly up and
stand on telephone lines, where they monitor telephone conversations
with their feet.  When they find a conversation in which people are
talking dirty, they grip the line very tightly until they are both
highly aroused, at which point the female gets pregnant.
		-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
		   Teen Should Know"
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As you reach for the web, a venomous spider appears.  Unable to pull
your hand away in time, the spider promptly, but politely, bites you.
The venom takes affect quickly causing your lips to turn plaid along
with your complexion.  You become dazed, and in your stupor you fall
from the limbs of the tree.  Snap!  Your head falls off and rolls all
over the ground.  The instant before you croak, you hear the whoosh of
a vacuum being filled by the air surrounding your head.  Worse yet, the
spider is suing you for damages.
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As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
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ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.
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Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if
one went to Harvard).
		-- Edgar R. Fiedler
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Ask not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.
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Ask Not for whom the Bell Tolls, and You will Pay only the
Station-to-Station rate.
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Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls ... if thou art in the
bathtub, it tolls for thee.
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Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take "Go to hell"
for an answer.
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"Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old
woman, director Roman Polanski told reporters, `The way I look at it,
she's the equivalent of three fourteen-year-olds.'"
		-- David Letterman
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Ass, n.:
	The masculine of "lass".
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Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve.
Run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be
strengthened.  Keep the company of bums and you will become a bum.
Hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check
and dying broke.
		-- Stanley Walker
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"At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los
Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head
under the exhaust of a bus until he revived."
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At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is
not.  But obviously it cannot be where it is not.  And if it is where
it is, that is equivalent to saying that it is at rest.
		-- Zeno's paradox of the moving (still?) arrow
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At Group L, Stoff