📄 态度05.htm
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mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>向月亮射击，即使不能射到月亮，也会射到某一颗星星。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>这是前州议会议员，目前献身青少年教育，深受欢迎的演讲家雷斯·伯朗所说的话。底特律著名的慈善家史坦利·克雷吉也说过：</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>只要多打几发，不好的枪也能命中。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他们一个主张目标要高，一个认为应持续不断地向目标努力。两者都是改变命运所必要的基本态度。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 以前我认识一位小有成就的人。他的工作单位受不景气影响，裁减人员，有不少职员暂时停职回家，他也是其中之一。在家里的时间一久，经济状态日渐窘迫，他的精神也发生了变化。到最后不得不屈就社会地位较低的工作，但也觉得能有一份工作在当时已算幸运了。他的哥哥是个事业成功的著名人士。可能受到这件事的刺激，他看待自己的态度更加消极。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我应邀到他所在的城市演讲，他来找我，我们在我住的汽车旅馆咖啡间见面。他看过我的书，认为我能给他力量。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他当前的问题是，有一个孩子准备进大学，另两个孩子在两三年后也要升学。可是他哪有能力让孩子上大学呢？总之，他是家庭的残兵败将，而哥哥却已飞黄腾达。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我这样对他说：</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>可是，这个问题和令兄的成功有什么关系呢？这只不过是你和孩子们的问题。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他说：</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>我是个无用的人，一贯如此。家兄头脑聪明，这个世界的幸运好像都被他一个人独占了。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> </span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>你目前的收入不够吧？</span><span lang=EN-US
style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>我问道，他点点头，我又继续说：</span><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>你无法获得所需要的收入的理由你已经告诉我了。第一，你不是和自己，而是在和令兄竞争。第二，你过于小看自己了。你大概不知道别人对你的评价是根据你对自身的评估而来的吧？你要更重视自己。我建议你以令兄为荣。如果能对令兄持着宽厚的心，就能为你自己带来轻松和光明。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 很显然，他拥有远超过自己想象的能力。可是长久以来过于小看自己，认定自己是个二流的人，心里充满了自我蔑视的念头。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他时常违背成功的基本原则之一</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>事情不可往坏处想</span><span lang=EN-US
style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>。因为他经常把自己往坏处想，终于产生自己是彻底失败者的印象。这样强烈的消极意识，以及因为哥哥成功而困扰的心情造成很大的心理障碍。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 于是他对哥哥产生竞争心，自己又逃进自认无能、毫无价值的思想怪圈里，养成这种失败者特有的态度。可是他心中的某处仍存着一丝希望，想找一个能帮助他的人商量。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>想法</span><span lang=EN-US
style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>变成</span><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>事实</span><span lang=EN-US
style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>的科学原理</span><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我推荐给他一个计划，他接受了，并以这个计划开始走向了成功之路。这个计划的第一步就是改变对哥哥，对自己以及工作的态度。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 放弃与哥哥竞争的心理，不再嫉妒，但要开始和自己竞争。同时要在心里描绘出工作一天比一天出色的自己。也就是要向自己的能力挑战，相信自己，清楚地想象自己成功的情形。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我鼓励他就自己的性格、智能、经验及其与生俱来的能力，列出所有的优点，让他自觉自己并不是无用之人，而是个了不起的人。产生了这样的自信，就能产生理性认识自己的力量，就能和常人一样对自己怀有信心。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 不久他显示出应有的能力，放弃了自卑的心理，拿出勇气获得健康的自尊心，能够自然地相信自己，同时对哥哥也逐渐产生好感。他们之间的关系日益亲密，彼此已能互相体贴。随着本身的健康思想和自尊心的恢复，也能赢得别人极高的评价，因而获得相当高的地位。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 当然，这不是一夜之间实现的。不可能在短时间内出现这样的结果。想要摆脱病态的自我蔑视，不是轻而易举的。可是一个人一旦有了上进心，订立计划并真诚地去做，就能获得所希望的结果。只要他一心向上，一切事物都会获得改善。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 这个典型的故事以后还有发展。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他来找我商量，正是他在自我改造的痛苦时期，而孩子们升大学的确又刻不容缓。于是我教导他扩大想象的方法。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我建议他，就像亲眼目睹一般想象每一个孩子都很用功，进入大学，打工缴学费，毕业典礼时戴着学士帽，穿着学士服去领毕业证书的情景。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 过了几年，他对我说：</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> </span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>为什么能做到，至今还不明白，大概今后也不可能明白。可是我们大家不断地那样想象，后来果真如想象一般，简直就是奇迹。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他觉得很不可思议。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 我这样解释道：</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> </span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>你在想法与态度上，实行不容置疑的科学法则，又因为有强烈的信仰，产生了最佳的精神力量。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'> 他和家人为了使情境好转，找到了极其重要的秘诀。</span><span
lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoPlainText><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"'>付出</span><span lang=EN-US
style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'> -</span><span style='mso-ascii-font-family:
"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:
"Times New Roman"'>得到法则</span><span lang=EN-US style='font-family:"Times New Roman"'>"</span><span
style='mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";
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