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随书类文件![随书类]MFC_SOURCEBOOK

Bill:   (Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have
guests, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
pressure drops so low that the showers don't work.

Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing
to terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures
from accessing.

Bill: And how do I fix that?

Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house.
Then you can get back to work.

Bill: That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?

Contractor: Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.

Bill: And when will it be fixed?

Contractor: Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release
next year.  Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some
delays...   Sound familiar.....
    
    </pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Vytautas Garalis (Vytukas)<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 09:16:52<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>I wanted to share one of my favorite links:

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~ss1/stupid/

</pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Jan Karel de Wolff<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 07:20:03<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>****************************************
*          Software for real life              *
****************************************

WIFE 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. 
He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity.
He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system
when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release.
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:
  - A "Don't remind me again" button
  - Minimize button
  - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
  - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0.
Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first.
Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.
You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

*****  BUG WARNING ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before going the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

*** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *******

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
 Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.


    
    </pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Jan Karel de Wolff<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 07:14:57<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>	 WHAT THE ORGANIZATIONAL CHART DOESN'T TELL YOU

In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a
nearly impossible task.  Some folks are called Analysts.  Some are
called Programmers. Some are called Engineers.  None of them has
window offices.
So I have listed -- from lowest to highest in order of prestige
- -- and described the 10 most commonly used job titles in a data
processing shop.
A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six
of these positions...usually all at the same time.
10.  Programmer:
     This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field.  Manages no
     one.  Answers to everyone.  Approximately 50% of the Programmer's
     time is scheduled for testing.  Another 50% is spent filling out
     time cards and progress reports.  Any time left over is spent
     attending classes on technologies that will never be used in the
     shop.
     The Programmer is appraised on code quality and reliability.
     Never has time to write any.  Hopes to, someday, be promoted to
     Systems Analyst.
 9.  Systems Analyst:
     The Systems Analyst refuses to code anymore.  Designs new
     systems. Writes specs for new systems.  Devises procedures
     and work flows for new systems but ends up training users
     on how to get by with the old ones.  Next in line for Team
     Leader position.
 8.  Team Leader:
     A Team Leader manages one project.  Doesn't know why he's not
     called Project Leader;  that's what he has on his resume.
 7.  Project Leader:
     Manages several projects at once.  Analyzes Gantt charts from the
     Team Leaders' projects.  Coordinates schedules from the Team
     Leaders' projects.  Monitors deliverables from the Team Leaders'
     projects. Has absolutely no idea what any of the Team Leaders'
     projects are about. Wants to be a programmer again.
 6.  Operator:
     The Operator wields powers that the Project Leader can only dream
     about.  Makes Programmers beg for tape drives.  Makes Analysts
     beg for disk space.  Makes Team Leaders beg for printouts.  Has
     an uncanny understanding of career potential in the data
     processing industry. Going to law school at night.
 5.  Systems Programmer:
     Even an Operator wants to be a Systems Programmer.  A
     Systems Programmer has the authority to wipe out disk packs
         without warning.  Crash the system during user demos.  Make
     new releases appear, then disappear, then reappear again,
     especially during month-end processing.
 4.  DBA:
     No one really knows what the Database Administrator does, and no
     one is smart enough to know if the DBA is doing it or not.  But
     every shop must have one DBA, because no place can afford two of
     them.
 3.  Manager:
     The Manager is sometimes called a Director.  Or an Assistant
     Vice-President.  Or an Account Manager.  Has completely lost
     touch with any facsimile of technology.  Wants to finish next
     year's budget. Wants to finish last year's appraisals.  Wants to
     learn the names of some of the Programmers.  But instead, only
     has time to interview job applicants, especially DBAs.
 2.  Department Secretary:
     The Programmers have word processing.  The Managers have
     electronic mail.  Everyone has automatic phone messaging.
     This leaves the Department Secretary with all kinds of time to
     manipulate, control and dispense the three most basic employee
     needs:  paychecks, rumors, and supplies.  Can make copier
     self-destruct just by going to lunch.
 1.  Contract Programmer:
     A Contract Programmer doesn't have to wear a nice suit.  Or go to
     meetings.  Or fill out time cards.  Or keep complaints to
     himself.  He can make all the mistakes he wants.  He doesn't get
     benefits.  He doesn't get training.  He doesn't get respect.
     But after years in the trenches, the Contract Programmer will
     finally achieve the ultimate goal in the profession:  He will be
     able to make impossible deadlines with inadequate resources for
     desperate managers by puting in all kinds of extra hours... and
     will be paid overtime for every one of them.


    
    </pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Jan Karel de Wolff<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 07:09:13<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. For the
sake of this story,  we'll call him George. After years of being
taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the
UNIX programmers and Client/Server programmers and website
developers, George was finally getting some respect. He'd become a
private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. He was
working short-term assignments for prestige companies, traveling all
over the world on different assignments. He was working 70 and 80 and
even 90 hour weeks, but it was worth it.  Several years of this
relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on George. He had
problems sleeping and began having anxiety dreams about the Year
2000. He even fantasized about taking a position in California, in a
manufacturing environment.  It had reached a point where even the
thought of the Year 2000 made him nearly violent. He must have
suffered some sort of breakdown, because all he could think about was
how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it. 
George decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics.
He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. This
was a very expensive process and totally automated. He was thrilled.
The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after
the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day.
Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life. 
He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the
revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare
minimum, and that was that.  The next thing that George saw was
an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They
were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and
"He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and
equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.
 Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped
forward. George couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "It is over?" he
asked. "Is 2000 already here?  Are all the millennial parties and
promotions and crises all over and done with?"  The spokesman
explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the
timer on George's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000
compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year
2000. But the spokesman told George that he shouldn't get excited;
someone important wanted to speak to him.  Suddenly a
wall-sized projection screen displayed the image of a man that looked
very much like Bill Gates. This man was Prime Minister of Earth. He
told George not to be upset. That this was a wonderful time to be
alive. That there was world peace and no more starvation. That the
space program had been reinstated and there were colonies on the moon
and on Mars, that technology had advanced to such a degree that
everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact
anyone else on the planet, or to watch any entertainment, or to hear
any music recorded anywhere.  "That sounds terrific," said George.
"But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?" 
"Well," said the Prime Minister. "The year 10000 is just around the
corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

    
    </pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Berry van Olphen<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 04:20:23<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>    
    Boris Jeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates are invited by
God for an important announcement. He tells them that the
earth will be destroyed in two weeks. Back on earth Jeltsin
calls his Russian parlemant together. He tells them that
he has bad news and even worse news. "The bad news is that
God exist. The worse news is that the world will be
destroyed."
Bill Clinton let the congress members know he has good news
and bad news. "The good news is that God exist. The bad news
is that the world will be destroyed".
Bill Gates calls a special shareholders' meeting. He tells
the shareholders that he has good news and even better news.
"The good news is that God finds me very important, I had
audience with him. The better news is that we don't have
to worry about the support of Windows NT".</pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Berry van Olphen<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Monday, April 6, 1998 at 03:57:43<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>    
    Bill Gates arrives at the geat of Heaven. Peter doubts if he should send him to heaven or hell. He decides to let Gates make a choice and gives him the opportunity to take a look in heaven and hell. Heaven looks paradisiac: angels flying everywhere and there is a peacefull sphere. Hell looks prodigious: magnificent beaches, fine weather, sexy women in bikini. Gates chooses hell.
Two weeks later Peter visits Gates. He finds Gates at a funeral pile with picking birds. Peter asks: "Do you like it?". Gates answers: "It's not quite what You've showed me". Peter answers: "It was just the demo version".</pre></BLOCKQUOTE><HR>

<B>Submitted by:</B> Enda Cronnolly<BR>
<B>Submitted on:</B> Sunday, April 5, 1998 at 17:59:49<BR>
<BLOCKQUOTE><pre>    
      On the 1st of January, 1998, Bjarne Stroustrup gave an
 interview  to the IEEE's 'Computer' magazine..

  Naturally, the editors thought he would be giving a retrospective
  view of seven years of object-oriented design, using the language
  he created.

  By the end of the interview, the interviewer got more than he had
  bargained for and, subsequently, the editor decided to suppress its
  contents, 'for the good of the industry' but, as with many of these
  things, there was a leak..

  Here is a complete transcript of what was was said, unedited, and
  unrehearsed, so it isn't as neat as planned interviews..

  You will find it interesting....
 __________________________________________________________________


  Interviewer:  Well, it's been a few years since you changed the
          world of software design, how does it feel, looking back?

  Stroustrup:  Actually, I was thinking about those days, just before
          you arrived.  Do you remember?  Everyone was writing 'C'
          and, the trouble was, they were pretty damn good at it..
          Universities got pretty good at teaching it, too.  They were
          turning out competent - I stress the word 'competent' -
          graduates at a phenomenal rate.  That's what caused the
          problem..

  Interviewer:  Problem?

  Stroustrup:  Yes, problem.  Remember when everyone wrote Cobol?

  Interviewer:  Of course, I did too

  Stroustrup:  Well, in the beginning, these guys were like
          demi-gods.  Their salaries were high, and they were treated
          like royalty..

  Interviewer:  Those were the days, eh?

  Stroustrup:  Right.  So what happened?  IBM got sick of it, and
          invested millions in training programmers, till they were a
          dime a dozen..

  Interviewer:  That's why I got out.  Salaries dropped within a year,
          to the point where being a journalist actually paid better..

  Stroustrup:  Exactly.  Well, the same happened with 'C' programmers..

  Interviewer:  I see, but what's the point?

  Stroustrup:  Well, one day, when I was sitting in my office, I
          thought of this little scheme, which would redress the
          balance a little.  I thought 'I wonder what would happen, if
          there were a language so complicated, so difficult to learn,
           that nobody would ever be able to swamp the market with
          programmers?  Actually, I got some of the ideas from X10,
          you know, X windows.  That was such a bitch of a graphics
          system, that it only just ran on those Sun 3/60 things..
          They had all the ingredients for what I wanted.  A really
          ridiculously complex syntax, obscure functions, and
          pseudo-OO structure.  Even now, nobody writes raw X-windows
          code.  Motif is the only way to