alice30.txt

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I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal:  this fireplace is
narrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'

  She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
above her:  then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave one
sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.

  The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goes
Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by the
hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Hold
up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
What happened to you?  Tell us all about it!'

  Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'
thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
like a sky-rocket!'

  `So you did, old fellow!' said the others.

  `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
Alice called out as loud as she could, `If you do.  I'll set
Dinah at you!'

  There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
herself, `I wonder what they WILL do next!  If they had any
sense, they'd take the roof off.'  After a minute or two, they
began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `A
barrowful will do, to begin with.'

  `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to
doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came
rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.
`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,
`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another dead
silence.

  Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
idea came into her head.  `If I eat one of these cakes,' she
thought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as it
can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
suppose.'

  So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
that she began shrinking directly.  As soon as she was small
enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
thick wood.

  `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she
wandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;
and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.
I think that will be the best plan.'

  It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
her head made her look up in a great hurry.

  An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.

  Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
mouth, and its great eyes half shut.

  This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
distance.

  `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
with one of the leaves:  `I should have liked teaching it tricks
very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it!  Oh
dear!  I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again!  Let
me see--how IS it to be managed?  I suppose I ought to eat or
drink something or other; but the great question is, what?'

  The great question certainly was, what?  Alice looked all round
her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
the circumstances.  There was a large mushroom growing near her,
about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
that she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.

  She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of
the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
of her or of anything else.



                            CHAPTER V

                    Advice from a Caterpillar


  The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in
silence:  at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

  `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

  This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.  Alice
replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think
I must have been changed several times since then.'

  `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
`Explain yourself!'

  `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because
I'm not myself, you see.'

  `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

  `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

  `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

  `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but
when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
feel it a little queer, won't you?'

  `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

  `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'

  `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously.  `Who are YOU?'

  Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
conversation.  Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,
very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'

  `Why?' said the Caterpillar.

  Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.

  `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her.  `I've something
important to say!'

  This sounded promising, certainly:  Alice turned and came back
again.

  `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

  `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as
she could.

  `No,' said the Caterpillar.

  Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
hearing.  For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but
at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
again, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'

  `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things as
I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'

  `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

  `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it
all came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.

  `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.

  Alice folded her hands, and began:--

    `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
      `And your hair has become very white;
    And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
      Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

    `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
      `I feared it might injure the brain;
    But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
      Why, I do it again and again.'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,
      And have grown most uncommonly fat;
    Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
      Pray, what is the reason of that?'

    `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
      `I kept all my limbs very supple
    By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
      Allow me to sell you a couple?'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak
      For anything tougher than suet;
    Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
      Pray how did you manage to do it?'

    `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,
      And argued each case with my wife;
    And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
      Has lasted the rest of my life.'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose
      That your eye was as steady as ever;
    Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
      What made you so awfully clever?'

    `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
      Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!
    Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
      Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'


  `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

  `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of the
words have got altered.'

  `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.

  The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

  `What size do you want to be?' it asked.

  `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'

  `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

  Alice said nothing:  she had never been so much contradicted in
her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

  `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.

  `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you
wouldn't mind,' said Alice:  `three inches is such a wretched
height to be.'

  `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
inches high).

  `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be so
easily offended!'

  `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

  This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.
In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
mouth and yawned