alice30.txt

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  `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
afraid that it would be offended again.

  `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
Alice, and sighing.

  `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
wonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?'  And
she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so
that her idea of the tale was something like this:--

                    `Fury said to a
                   mouse, That he
                 met in the
               house,
            "Let us
              both go to
                law:  I will
                  prosecute
                    YOU.  --Come,
                       I'll take no
                        denial; We
                     must have a
                 trial:  For
              really this
           morning I've
          nothing
         to do."
           Said the
             mouse to the
               cur, "Such
                 a trial,
                   dear Sir,
                         With
                     no jury
                  or judge,
                would be
              wasting
             our
              breath."
               "I'll be
                 judge, I'll
                   be jury,"
                         Said
                    cunning
                      old Fury:
                     "I'll
                      try the
                         whole
                          cause,
                             and
                        condemn
                       you
                      to
                       death."'


  `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
`What are you thinking of?'

  `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly:  `you had got to
the fifth bend, I think?'

  `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

  `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
looking anxiously about her.  `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

  `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
and walking away.  `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'

  `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice.  `But you're so easily
offended, you know!'

  The Mouse only growled in reply.

  `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
it; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' but
the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
quicker.

  `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
saying to her daughter `Ah, my dear!  Let this be a lesson to you
never to lose YOUR temper!'  `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the
young Crab, a little snappishly.  `You're enough to try the
patience of an oyster!'

  `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
addressing nobody in particular.  `She'd soon fetch it back!'

  `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
said the Lory.

  Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
her pet:  `Dinah's our cat.  And she's such a capital one for
catching mice you can't think!  And oh, I wish you could see her
after the birds!  Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look
at it!'

  This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
Some of the birds hurried off at once:  one old Magpie began
wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must be
getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
called out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, my
dears!  It's high time you were all in bed!'  On various pretexts
they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

  `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
melancholy tone.  `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
sure she's the best cat in the world!  Oh, my dear Dinah!  I
wonder if I shall ever see you any more!'  And here poor Alice
began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.
In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of
footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping
that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to
finish his story.



                           CHAPTER IV

                The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill


  It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess!  The Duchess!
Oh my dear paws!  Oh my fur and whiskers!  She'll get me
executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets!  Where CAN I have
dropped them, I wonder?'  Alice guessed in a moment that it was
looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she
very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
the little door, had vanished completely.

  Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what ARE
you doing out here?  Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of
gloves and a fan!  Quick, now!'  And Alice was so much frightened
that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, without
trying to explain the mistake it had made.

  `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.
`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am!  But I'd
better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
of which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'
engraved upon it.  She went in without knocking, and hurried
upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
gloves.

  `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be going
messages for a rabbit!  I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
messages next!'  And she began fancying the sort of thing that
would happen:  `"Miss Alice!  Come here directly, and get ready
for your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse!  But I've got to see
that the mouse doesn't get out."  Only I don't think,' Alice went
on, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
people about like that!'

  By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with
a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two
or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves:  she took up the fan and
a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, when
her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-
glass.  There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'
but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips.  `I know
SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,
`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what this
bottle does.  I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for
really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'

  It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
broken.  She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
much!'

  Alas! it was too late to wish that!  She went on growing, and
growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor:  in
another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried
the effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the
other arm curled round her head.  Still she went on growing, and,
as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one
foot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,
whatever happens.  What WILL become of me?'

  Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full
effect, and she grew no larger:  still it was very uncomfortable,
and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting
out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

  `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when one
wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about
by mice and rabbits.  I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
this sort of life!  I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!
When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!  There
ought to be a book written about me, that there ought!  And when
I grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
sorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any more
HERE.'

  `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than I
am now?  That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--
but then--always to have lessons to learn!  Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'

  `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself.  `How can you
learn lessons in here?  Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no
room at all for any lesson-books!'

  And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

  `Mary Ann!  Mary Ann!' said the voice.  `Fetch me my gloves
this moment!'  Then came a little pattering of feet on the
stairs.  Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and
she trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she
was now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
reason to be afraid of it.

  Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;
but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed
hard against it, that attempt proved a failure.  Alice heard it
say to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

  `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she
fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly
spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air.  She did not
get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,
and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it was
just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or something
of the sort.

  Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat!  Where are
you?'  And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure then
I'm here!  Digging for apples, yer honour!'

  `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily.  `Here!
Come and help me out of THIS!'  (Sounds of more broken glass.)

  `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'

  `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!'  (He pronounced it `arrum.')

  `An arm, you goose!   Who ever saw one that size?  Why, it
fills the whole window!'

  `Sure, it does, yer honour:  but it's an arm for all that.'

  `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate:  go and take it
away!'

  There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
whispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yer
honour, at all, at all!'  `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
the air.  This time there were TWO little shrieks, and more
sounds of broken glass.  `What a number of cucumber-frames there
must be!' thought Alice.  `I wonder what they'll do next!  As for
pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD!  I'm sure I
don't want to stay in here any longer!'

  She waited for some time without hearing anything more:  at
last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
good many voices all talking together:  she made out the words:
`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular--
Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind
that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down!  Heads below!' (a loud
crash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to go
down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,
then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
go down the chimney!'

  `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
Alice to herself.  `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!